“Getting genital herpes changed my identity, and everything I thought of myself. I was a crazy party girl and in an abusive relationship at the time and it woke me up. I was stressed out trying to make him happy and I had constant outbreaks until I left him, until I started to care for myself. I quit drinking and I started investing in myself, strangely, herpes helped my self confidence. It prompted manage my life better, when my immune system was down I would (and still do, but rarely) get outbreaks. It prompted me to have actual conversations about sex, and demanded I behave with rigorous honesty and integrity in my future relationships. I have met people who thought I was worth the risk and some who have not, and that's okay. Disclosing is still one of the scarier things, and I have always hated being vulnerable but there's something really incredible about feeling that naked and free in front of someone. It has made my relationships deepen, sharing a secret which bares a fair amount of shame and trusting that it won't be weaponized. It took me a long time to accept it but the lessons I learned in love and vulnerability would have otherwise taken me decades.“