“I was raped, as a Virgin, at 19 and contracted herpes. My first experience with sex was forced on me and left me with an incurable virus. I didn't have sex for years after that because it terrified me. In my twenties I realized that sex with queer people made me nervous (because sex was still new) but not scared. My queer lovers have taught me how to communicate about herpes and historically been the most graceful in hearing it. Still, I've been shamed for it a lot. I've been told I'm a health risk (as if cold sores are life threatening). I realized recently that I was shamed into silence and I didn't want shame and fear to prevent me from doing what I can to smash the stigma around herpes. It's not dirty. It's not something I got by being careless or "risky". Aside from the stigma, it has very little impact on my life at all. To my knowledge, I've never even passed it to any of my fifty+ partners.“